Right now Oliver is off with his dad. Just an hour, a little break for the Mama. While there is a long list of things I should be doing ranging from chore related up to indulgent, here I am instead paying homage to the wonderful man that just whisked away my baby for a brief moment in time. I have a few categories that I could have chosen to catch up on in the blog world right now but it was this little grouping of photos from a recent trip to Look Park that caught my eye.
I would have included these photos of Gabriel and Oliver in some post at some point but the truth is that my wonderful neighbor Lex's blog sort of inspired this particular post. There are two things that have been stewing in my mind about Lex's blog. Primarily I salute Lex's bravery to make her blog truly about her daily life, not just the glossy perfect one. Don't get me wrong, I ADORE blogs like Soulemama and Sew Liberated, and look forward to looking at them almost every day. I am inspired daily to try new recipes or craft projects from looking at blogs like these but after looking at the same blogs for years and now having my own child I have to wonder, do their children never fight? Is their house never a mess? So I love Lex's blog because I think she has a beautiful life, with a loving wife AND she isn't afraid to share some of the harder aspects of trying to keep it all in balance. The way they approach the stickier subjects with love is in itself beautiful.
Secondly and more pertinent to this post, Lex has been sharing her experiences as the non-gestational parent of their son Leo and I am so thankful to her for making me examine once again the relationships in our own family. I can't tell you how jealous Gabriel and I are of the idea that both parents in a partnership could both have the experience of being gestational parents both to share the joys of each experience and so that we could each truly know what the other person has been through. I can't speak for Gabriel and what the experience of being a non-gestational parent has been like for him but looking at Lex's blog has made me really think about all the ways in which the non-gestational parent is so incredibly special and critical to the daily success and joy of our family.
Where my energy is depleted, Gabriel's always fills the gaps. When my face can't crack another smile, Gabriel whisks Oliver away and manages to get the biggest laughs out of him of the whole day. As I give and give and give to Oliver, Gabriel supports me all the way to the last moments of the day when he washes my feet every night before getting into bed. I know that the joy of being a gestational parent lies in the fact that for so long Oliver and I are like one being. Most of the time this is a great comfort to share ourselves so closely, but this can also be overwhelming at times when he just claws at me whining and I feel like he is trying to find the zipper to crawl back inside of me. In these moments the fresh face of Gabriel always arrives to rescue us both.
Sometimes I am jealous of Gabriel's ability to be the "fun" parent which I attribute to the fact that his time with Oliver is more compartmentalized than mine is. I have to multitask my time with Oliver more where Gabriel has been thinking all day about getting back home to Oliver and when he arrives can give him undivided attention.
I guess for us it is important to find a balance in all of the rolls that we play for each other. Sure it is important for all three of us to spend time together as a family but I think when we all cherish our time in our own pairs we nurture our special bonds as well. As much as I wish we could have both seen Oliver's many tricks and trades through out the day, sometimes it makes me feel special to think that they were done just for me.
So thank you my Love. Thank you for being the wonderful husband and father that you are. Oliver and I are so lucky. I try to imagine what it would be like to do this without a loving partner and I just can't imagine. My success as a parent would not be possible without you by my side.
And to Lex: I could go on and on about the finer points but simply put, you are a wonderful Mama and a mama 100% to all of those rascally 4 boy you have.
Oh, and to sweet little Oliver, Happy 10 months little man!
Bellow is Oliver's first train ride. Cute cute cute!
I would have included these photos of Gabriel and Oliver in some post at some point but the truth is that my wonderful neighbor Lex's blog sort of inspired this particular post. There are two things that have been stewing in my mind about Lex's blog. Primarily I salute Lex's bravery to make her blog truly about her daily life, not just the glossy perfect one. Don't get me wrong, I ADORE blogs like Soulemama and Sew Liberated, and look forward to looking at them almost every day. I am inspired daily to try new recipes or craft projects from looking at blogs like these but after looking at the same blogs for years and now having my own child I have to wonder, do their children never fight? Is their house never a mess? So I love Lex's blog because I think she has a beautiful life, with a loving wife AND she isn't afraid to share some of the harder aspects of trying to keep it all in balance. The way they approach the stickier subjects with love is in itself beautiful.
Secondly and more pertinent to this post, Lex has been sharing her experiences as the non-gestational parent of their son Leo and I am so thankful to her for making me examine once again the relationships in our own family. I can't tell you how jealous Gabriel and I are of the idea that both parents in a partnership could both have the experience of being gestational parents both to share the joys of each experience and so that we could each truly know what the other person has been through. I can't speak for Gabriel and what the experience of being a non-gestational parent has been like for him but looking at Lex's blog has made me really think about all the ways in which the non-gestational parent is so incredibly special and critical to the daily success and joy of our family.
Where my energy is depleted, Gabriel's always fills the gaps. When my face can't crack another smile, Gabriel whisks Oliver away and manages to get the biggest laughs out of him of the whole day. As I give and give and give to Oliver, Gabriel supports me all the way to the last moments of the day when he washes my feet every night before getting into bed. I know that the joy of being a gestational parent lies in the fact that for so long Oliver and I are like one being. Most of the time this is a great comfort to share ourselves so closely, but this can also be overwhelming at times when he just claws at me whining and I feel like he is trying to find the zipper to crawl back inside of me. In these moments the fresh face of Gabriel always arrives to rescue us both.
Sometimes I am jealous of Gabriel's ability to be the "fun" parent which I attribute to the fact that his time with Oliver is more compartmentalized than mine is. I have to multitask my time with Oliver more where Gabriel has been thinking all day about getting back home to Oliver and when he arrives can give him undivided attention.
I guess for us it is important to find a balance in all of the rolls that we play for each other. Sure it is important for all three of us to spend time together as a family but I think when we all cherish our time in our own pairs we nurture our special bonds as well. As much as I wish we could have both seen Oliver's many tricks and trades through out the day, sometimes it makes me feel special to think that they were done just for me.
So thank you my Love. Thank you for being the wonderful husband and father that you are. Oliver and I are so lucky. I try to imagine what it would be like to do this without a loving partner and I just can't imagine. My success as a parent would not be possible without you by my side.
And to Lex: I could go on and on about the finer points but simply put, you are a wonderful Mama and a mama 100% to all of those rascally 4 boy you have.
Oh, and to sweet little Oliver, Happy 10 months little man!
Bellow is Oliver's first train ride. Cute cute cute!
2 comments:
Sarah: a Mamma who has found her niche in oh so many ways! : )
well said.
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